Stress and Stressful...

Hello ladies and gentlemen,

So I'm extremely stressed out right now.
Senior
Year.

It's making me want to rip my hair out and it hasn't even started yet. Who knew that making a schedule could be so difficult! And I have a semester class that is just basically hanging in the wind without a second semester mate to go along with it. It's a hot poker searing into my skin.

But on the first day of school, I'll put my name on a sign up sheet and I'll get it changed. And then after eleven days of riding the bus...I'll get my permit and then I can finally rescue my car back from my father. He's been driving it because his truck is pretty much a carcass. The air conditioner doesn't work and my father is quite of a big man so he sweats quite a bit.

That and I'm worried about college and how that's all going to turn out. Why does my family have to be the perfect middle class that gets screwed over? We're too "rich" for financial aid and we're too poor to pay for it out of our own pocket. So my first year totally depends on scholarships. Which means that I'm going to be at the literal brink of my line. I'll have senior project and then signing up for college and then making sure I get all my scholarships and then passing all my classes, maintaining a good GPA, getting a score of at least 30 on my ACT, senior prom, and not losing my mind.

And then I'll be bawling by the end of my school year. Hopefully because I'll be moving out of my hometown and nearly 2 or 3 hours away, and then because I'll be moving out of my town. This is the first time that I'll be away from my family for more than a weekend. It'll be for four years! I might just go insane. It's so hard growing up, I don't even know if I want to. I haven't known anything except my little hometown and the little school that I've been attending since 1999 when I was 3. I like knowing everyone and knowing where everything is. It's calming to me. And plus I've never been a new student to anything.

It's going to be so weird. Hopefully though Sage and I will get into the same college and then it won't be so lonely. We'll be roomates and then our room will be the coolest room in the hall! It'll have posters and smell like incense and we'll have awesome music playing all the time. And then after our first or second year, we'll hopefully have saved up enough money and we'll get our own little house. We'll be grown women. And then after that, we'll move to England and live there. We'll start publishing books and I'll get my career started as a Freelance Journalist and then all will be ok!

My mom will be so proud of me. Because that's all I want. I just want to reach my dreams and make them proud. I want to prove to them that they did do a good job.

This is what I do when I'm home alone. I watch HGTV and daydream about my dream house and decorate it a gazillion times. I'm so bored because I stay home all day, clean, babysit my brother, and blog. And work on my stories/novel.

For now, I'll try to stop stressing and try to keep out of my depressive rut. So for now, love and cookies :)

xoxo- Wynter!

Me and my brother :)

A Gothic Princess Story...

So just for kicks, I figured I would upload a chapter of a short story that I'm working. Actually it's not really not a short story, it's more of a novella. Anyway, it's the first story that I've written placed in the Middle Ages. And I'm not a historian so some of the things I put in there may not be historically correct...but hey, there's always editing right!
So I, Wynter Page, present the first chapter of "Tale Of A Gothic Princess"

Prologue

Purple, red, black and blue.
They're all just colors.
But they're more than that
If all you've seen is gray.

A purpleless sunrise.
A redless bleed.
A blackless night
Over a blueless ocean.

A gray life she lives,
With all light cast off.
The light died with love,
Which fell with her smile.

Death killed the smile.
Death is the gray.



Part One

The giant curtain was drawn back.
The little old maid fought with the drape, in spite of her rough muscles. Her plump figure jerked it until piercing sunlight invaded the bedchamber. It flooded the stone floors that were dressed with equisite rugs and furniture.
Only one spot in the room remained dark and shadowed.
The giant four-post bed in the middle of the room, covered over with a black lace canopy, hid the gray soul sleeping inside.
"Ms. Castalia, the day is young." the maid walked over to the bed and gently pulled a part of the canopy back to peer inside.
Even with the slight burst of sun that was able to get inside, the bed was still dark and shadowed, it was difficult for the maid to make anything out. But within a few minutes, she could see the small figure of the soul hiding under the thick covers and smushed between the numerous feather pillows.
"Ms. Castalia?" the maid's voice softer this time. She reached and gently nudged the covers covering the legs.
The figure moved just a little, away from the maid's hand, and deeper under the blankets.
"Ms. Castalia, you can't slumber in the dark all day long!" the maid nudged the covers again.
The figure moved even farther away and the maid groaned in frustration. "For heaven's sake! Go ahead and sleep your life away then if it pleases you!" the maid let go of the canopy and groaned again as she bent over to pick up abandoned petticoats and a gown.
"But I won't be the one to explain to your father why his daughter has become inexistent." the maid gave one last try as she stood at the chamber door.
Silence was the answer and so the giant door was closed and the room was left in deafning silence.

                                                                        ***

So yes, this was inspired by Narnia. Don't judge me.
And I kind of based this off a story I found on the Internet like two years ago, I ended up sloppily scribbling it into my journal.
Post your opinions about it please!
I'm dying for foreign opinions and possible improvement!

xoxo-Wynter!



7 Days Ago...

So seven days ago, it was my birthday and I turned 17. Of course I had to spend that day at Journalism camp going through slideshow

After slideshow...

After slideshow...

After frexing slideshow...

But luckily that morning, my best friend (Sage) surprised me with this book!

And I got to keep the extremely attractive Hollister bag also ;)

Ahaha!

But yes, my birthday party is so far scheduled for the 17th and by then I'll get more presents! And I'll also get to see my best friends!

So for now...I'll laze around in pajamas and watch Sex And The City...

Heehee, this is me.
Wynter!

xoxo- Wynter :*

A Little More About Me

So, if you haven't already figured out, I'm a writer!
No, I'm not published. But I surely hope to be in the future. I've been writing all my life, but I just really got serious about it nearly three years ago. During that time, I was going through a "phase" you could call it. I was just leaving behind my girly girl stage and exploring the dark side of the world. I got into punk music and rock n roll, wearing clothes that scared my grandmother, and writing dark and twisted poetry.

Back then, my writing sucked majorly. Because I wasn't really looking for a message to get across, I didn't know how and I didn't know exactly what message I wanted to get across. I didn't have one. It was basically "How twisted and dark and suicidal can I sound this time?".
That was the question I always asked myself before I wrote. Every article had the same sound pretty much.

"The world sucks, I hate my life, I wish to die, I don't deserve love. I'm a worthless waste."

Yada, yada, yada.

But then the next year, when I was 15, I started making things more personal. And my writing actually became better. Of course at that time, I was in a better stage. I had the right friends and I was making better choices in my life. But there was still a factor,

And he had been the problem for the past year.

I ended up breaking ties with him after Christmas. And I haven't heard from him since. I do wish that I could've handled things better. We were both immature about it and stupid.

But I won't revel in the past.

I hope to travel abroad after I graduate high school this year. I really want to go England and live there for several years. I want the cottage in the Moors of England and live out a romance novel. Speckled teapots will complete the scene.

I can't wait for the future plans I have to present themselves. I hate waiting because I'm very impatient. But hopefully everything will work out in my favor.

*crossing fingers!*

xoxo- Wynter